I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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