SEEEEXXX PLEASE
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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