mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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