he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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