P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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