i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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