come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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