So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize