Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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