I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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