your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize