so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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