awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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