is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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