I'm gonna have a badass scar
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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