You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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