Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
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There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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