Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize