his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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