who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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