Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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