Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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