I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize