I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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