C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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