Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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