I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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