I saw his package. It spoke to me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize