so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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