Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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