ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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