I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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