so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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