Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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