already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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