My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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