I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
did i just pee glitter
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