Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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