awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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