Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize