I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize