The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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