You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
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they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
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I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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