uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize