I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
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We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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