Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize