im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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