I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize