Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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