the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize