Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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