I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize